21/5/24 - Caught up

The township in Visakhapatnam is blessed. Each quarter is surrounded by fruit trees and there is an overall absence of moving vehicles, making it serene and pleasing. I hoped to make the most of this setting when I arrived here. However, my determination wavers when I visit the comforts of my in-laws. 

I sat today to meditate on the roof of my father's quarter. There was shade of only the surrounding short walls, which wasn't enough to cover my head. Nonetheless I began and as per the commands of my mother, started with Pranayama, which was relatively easy. But watching each breath slowly, each motion carefully was quite beyond my capabilities. Thoughts arose, and I was caught in their whirls. Moving in brownian motion, like the balls on a snooker table, one thought would trigger another and then another and then another. And it's very hard to keep up. You don't even realize when the first thought began and by the time you even notice, you're at the 4th or 5th thought. 

So that kept on. Attempts were made to visualize the Gods that be, to engender some blessings from the heavens, but to no avail. I was and I am too caught up with my life situation. The events, fears, regrets and hopes.