28/05 - Drowziness

 Yesterday's abhyasa or practice of mindfulness or mindlessness, however you may want to call it, proved very beneficial in ensuring a sound sleep and a comfortable awakening. I was not exhausted or filled up with thoughts and emotions. 

Yet, something else had to appear, to fill the vacuum. Welcome Drowziness. During my meditation today, I was falling asleep, losing attention after a few moments. Buddhist monks are apparently caned to punish their inattention. Perhaps, some physical movement before settling for meditation would be helpful? 

There was also a certain lack of desire for meditating. Despite having better control and temperament today, the desire to meditate was wanting. This however did not matter and I was able to continue my practice. Something from somewhere inside also told me to stay steadfast, and not give up in the face of lethargy. 

Finally yesterday, I was also witness to a certain exasperation or irritation, after hours of practice of mindlessness. Was it fatigue? As if I had had enough and can do not more of this. A desire to lash out and stop being patient with people. 

May we always be alert.

Aum